i have always had trouble journaling and getting my thoughts out on paper into words that really expresses what i want.... so today i was kinda down and had a million thoughts going through my head but i didnt want to write about em because i write about em all the time and it doesnt really help for some reason. so i decided to just draw. i doodled for about an hour, and i actually really love what i came out with. it is just all these gestures (quick drawings - not really any shading or not a whole lot of detail), just expressions and movement and more action like drawing. it helped me so much. i did write a little bit, like quotes from songs that stuck out to me while i was drawing (i was listening to my ipod) and just thoughts that i was mulling about in my head. i felt lots better after that. :)
thats my random pondering of the day.
29.10.05
halloween
Halloween party!! Ellen and I are both catholic school girls - which isnt all that original around here, but oh well. i just kinda added random bits of clothing to the outfit since the only thing i had was the skirt. but whatever. oh well. caitlin and ashley were just going to a regular party and didnt dress up. :)
28.10.05
sigh
ok i have been thinking lots today. at some points kinda depressed and homesick and such, at other times kinda angry. basically i want to sum it up in two things.
1 - i have had a couple instances of this in the past 24 hours - i just want to say to all guys - if you are a dick to my friends, you are a dick to me. they mean the world to me. i will take it personally and, even if i am too far away, just know that if it was possible, i would come and beat you up. i love my friends more than anything. also if you expect me to give you sympathy or something, you aren't going to get it. i am not sympathetic person when it comes to people who have been mean to my friends. for all my friends - if you ever need to talk just give me a ring. i love to talk to you guys and i love you. you guys are all amazing. i will be happy to listen to you no matter your mood.
(ok that was the angry part)
2 - (this is the depressed/homesick part) i miss all you guys a lot. i have had two songs in my head for the past few days. one of them i just rediscovered and i finally have it on my computer.
first song: The Luckiest by Ben Folds
I don’t get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
What if I’d been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?
And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you
Next door there’s an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away
I’m sorry, I know that’s a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
Second Song: I Want to Know Your Plans by Say Anything
I want to know your plans
and how involved in them I am.
When I go to sleep for good,
Will I be forgiven?
And if you want roses
You can go buy a bouquet.
If that just won't cut it,
well what can I say?
You're what keeps me believing
The world's not gone dead.
Strength in my bones, put the words in my head
When they pour out to paper
It's all for you.
Cause that's what you do.
That’s what you do.
I want to know your fear
From your feet to the back of your ears
When they raise the landing gear
Will your heart stay here?
If you could forgive me
for being so brash,
well you, you could hit me or whip me.
Oh, oh, I'd savor each lash.
You're what keeps me believing
the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones,put the words in my head.
They pour out to paper
It's all for you...
Cause that's what you do
No more fighting
This is only a waste of our time,
Oh, cause soon we'll be leaving
Will this strength still be mine?
I'll look out for you ‘til I die
‘Til I rot
Ohh I'll remember you ‘til I die
‘Til I rot
You're what keeps me believin the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones, put the words in my head
When they pour out to paper
It's all for you...
You're what keeps me believin the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones, put the words in my head.
when they pour out to paper
It's all for you
Cause that's what you do.
ok that is all i have to say. i just felt like posting and that's what i have been thinking about for the past, oh, 24 hours or so.
<3<3<3<3
*blow a kiss*
that's for all you guys.
1 - i have had a couple instances of this in the past 24 hours - i just want to say to all guys - if you are a dick to my friends, you are a dick to me. they mean the world to me. i will take it personally and, even if i am too far away, just know that if it was possible, i would come and beat you up. i love my friends more than anything. also if you expect me to give you sympathy or something, you aren't going to get it. i am not sympathetic person when it comes to people who have been mean to my friends. for all my friends - if you ever need to talk just give me a ring. i love to talk to you guys and i love you. you guys are all amazing. i will be happy to listen to you no matter your mood.
(ok that was the angry part)
2 - (this is the depressed/homesick part) i miss all you guys a lot. i have had two songs in my head for the past few days. one of them i just rediscovered and i finally have it on my computer.
first song: The Luckiest by Ben Folds
I don’t get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
What if I’d been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?
And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you
Next door there’s an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away
I’m sorry, I know that’s a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
Second Song: I Want to Know Your Plans by Say Anything
I want to know your plans
and how involved in them I am.
When I go to sleep for good,
Will I be forgiven?
And if you want roses
You can go buy a bouquet.
If that just won't cut it,
well what can I say?
You're what keeps me believing
The world's not gone dead.
Strength in my bones, put the words in my head
When they pour out to paper
It's all for you.
Cause that's what you do.
That’s what you do.
I want to know your fear
From your feet to the back of your ears
When they raise the landing gear
Will your heart stay here?
If you could forgive me
for being so brash,
well you, you could hit me or whip me.
Oh, oh, I'd savor each lash.
You're what keeps me believing
the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones,put the words in my head.
They pour out to paper
It's all for you...
Cause that's what you do
No more fighting
This is only a waste of our time,
Oh, cause soon we'll be leaving
Will this strength still be mine?
I'll look out for you ‘til I die
‘Til I rot
Ohh I'll remember you ‘til I die
‘Til I rot
You're what keeps me believin the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones, put the words in my head
When they pour out to paper
It's all for you...
You're what keeps me believin the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones, put the words in my head.
when they pour out to paper
It's all for you
Cause that's what you do.
ok that is all i have to say. i just felt like posting and that's what i have been thinking about for the past, oh, 24 hours or so.
<3<3<3<3
*blow a kiss*
that's for all you guys.
24.10.05
cold and rainy
ok its cold here! today is the first day that i was really cold. It has been raining for the past three days. It gets to a pretty hard downpour sometimes. But the real kicker is that it is 43 degrees outside = oh and windy. So you are walking to class and the wind and rain are blowing in your face and right through your fleece jacket. I thought fleece was supposed to be warm. And cold weather in college is so much worse than cold weather in highschool. In highschool you had to "suffer" the long walk up summit to school, but then you were inside all day in the warmth. the worst thing that could happen was having to walk over to lockwood for class. here going to all my classes is like a "walk up summit" and then i don't really warm up much during class before i have to make another "trek down summit" back to the dorm. argh. i wish the sun would come out - that would make the cold more bearable. Alas I have at least two more days of the rain. argh.
i don't have classes tomorrow - i am so excited. It is "academic day" where they have conferences or something that kids are forced to go to for extra credit and such - but I am not! So i am going to sleep and relax and do some homework tomorrow. Basically just enjoy my day off. mmmm i am so excited. yay.
i actually took a nap today! i rarely take them because they always make me feel worse. but today i was feeling really crappy and the ibuprofen hadnt kicked in and all i wanted was some chocolate. so i decided to take a nap cause i was dead tired. i slept for two hours (i made my roomie wake me up so i wouldnt sleep all day). i actually felt much much better afterwards. the ibuprofen was still only working halfway, but i still felt much more refreshed. i have decided that naps are good. sometimes. naps in between theology and calc are always nice too. yep.
i think i should go shower now, cause i haven't done that yet today.
love ya'll!!
:) (don't ya just love my kentucky accent i am picking up from Ellen? haha, just kidding - i don't say ya'll yet - i swear. it is just easier than typing out "i love you all!!")
yep.
bye bye.
i don't have classes tomorrow - i am so excited. It is "academic day" where they have conferences or something that kids are forced to go to for extra credit and such - but I am not! So i am going to sleep and relax and do some homework tomorrow. Basically just enjoy my day off. mmmm i am so excited. yay.
i actually took a nap today! i rarely take them because they always make me feel worse. but today i was feeling really crappy and the ibuprofen hadnt kicked in and all i wanted was some chocolate. so i decided to take a nap cause i was dead tired. i slept for two hours (i made my roomie wake me up so i wouldnt sleep all day). i actually felt much much better afterwards. the ibuprofen was still only working halfway, but i still felt much more refreshed. i have decided that naps are good. sometimes. naps in between theology and calc are always nice too. yep.
i think i should go shower now, cause i haven't done that yet today.
love ya'll!!
:) (don't ya just love my kentucky accent i am picking up from Ellen? haha, just kidding - i don't say ya'll yet - i swear. it is just easier than typing out "i love you all!!")
yep.
bye bye.
22.10.05
dance party!!
hehehe dance parties in dorm rooms are awesome.
the chicas - Michelle, Claire, Lindsey, Molly, Me, and Ellen.
the dj - Jason.
me and lindsey after some mad dancing
Molly and Matt
the singer - Jeremy
Claire being cute
The room - i dunno. i was going picture crazy. :)
my amazing bday present from dan (it was a little late). we have decided to give each other really really random presents since we are poor college students. i gave him a drawing of tabasco sauce (i was originally going to give him the bottle, but i felt bad stealing from the caf....). so he gave me this lovely carved pumpkin which now graces my desk. :)
the chicas - Michelle, Claire, Lindsey, Molly, Me, and Ellen.
the dj - Jason.
me and lindsey after some mad dancing
Molly and Matt
the singer - Jeremy
Claire being cute
The room - i dunno. i was going picture crazy. :)
my amazing bday present from dan (it was a little late). we have decided to give each other really really random presents since we are poor college students. i gave him a drawing of tabasco sauce (i was originally going to give him the bottle, but i felt bad stealing from the caf....). so he gave me this lovely carved pumpkin which now graces my desk. :)
20.10.05
18.10.05
More song lyrics....
I know I know, it's emo, but i just discovered this song and i like it.
Learning to Breathe
by Switchfoot
Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
This is the way
That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad
I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
That I say I love You
This is the way
That I say I'm Yours
This is the way
This is the way
Learning to Breathe
by Switchfoot
Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
This is the way
That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad
I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
That I say I love You
This is the way
That I say I'm Yours
This is the way
This is the way
17.10.05
weird thought...
the first 1/4 of my freshman year is over. i just had midterms (most of my grades look pretty good)... and today there was this big meeting for all freshman arts and sciences majors about registering for classes for next semester. holy crap.
i dont really have much else to say.. i just felt like blogging.
hmmm..... song playing at the moment: girlfriend by eve 6.
i love that song. its so good - it is one of those depressing songs that i am drawn to for some weird reason.
today was pretty good. i had drawing class - it went really slowly but it was a good class. i think i am finally getting really settled and comfortable in that class - which is awesome because it is my favorite class. awesome teacher and the class is just plain fun.
then i had a half hour break in which i did nothing. rhetoric was after that. i used to like that class, but i am getting tired of writing so much. me and writing dont get along too well. once i sit down and actually do it, its not too bad, but i have trouble getting myself to do it. i just don't think i have "a way with words" and i get frustrated cause i don't prove points and shit very well... i like writing like this. just total stream of conciousness. i don't have to worry about grammer and all that stuff cause this is for me to relax and unwind and, if i feel like it, remember all the stuff that has happened. so yeah - rhetoric - not so fun because i am having fun getting a claim to write my toulmin arguement. oh well. i will get it figured out. i have until friday (well, thursday night.... or if i really want to stretch it - friday before 11:30).
after that i got lunch (which was ok - the fries were good). then i had to go to the aforementioned (oooo vocab point) meeting. that was boring. the second part of that meeting was a career thing. i went to the art one (obviously) and we talked a little about careers but also about what classes we should take when to fulfill requirements and such. that was helpful but kinda stressful because i don't like thinking that far into the future.
then.... i sat around, pretended to do homework...... then Ashley, Caitlin, Ellen, Mike, Eric, and I all went to PF Changs to celebrate my bday and Ashley's bday (last tues and wed respectively). that was so much fun. omfg i love that restaurant. sooooo yummy. i got beef and broccoli of course. leftovers are in the fridge for tomorrow's enjoyment. mmmm.
yep. then i came back and did homework. and now i am watching the cards game. yep yep yep.
song that is on now: Short Skirt and a Long Jacket - Cake.
mmmm good song. hehehe
ok... i gotta start watching the game more closely - its getting interesting - in a bad way.
tschuess.
i dont really have much else to say.. i just felt like blogging.
hmmm..... song playing at the moment: girlfriend by eve 6.
i love that song. its so good - it is one of those depressing songs that i am drawn to for some weird reason.
today was pretty good. i had drawing class - it went really slowly but it was a good class. i think i am finally getting really settled and comfortable in that class - which is awesome because it is my favorite class. awesome teacher and the class is just plain fun.
then i had a half hour break in which i did nothing. rhetoric was after that. i used to like that class, but i am getting tired of writing so much. me and writing dont get along too well. once i sit down and actually do it, its not too bad, but i have trouble getting myself to do it. i just don't think i have "a way with words" and i get frustrated cause i don't prove points and shit very well... i like writing like this. just total stream of conciousness. i don't have to worry about grammer and all that stuff cause this is for me to relax and unwind and, if i feel like it, remember all the stuff that has happened. so yeah - rhetoric - not so fun because i am having fun getting a claim to write my toulmin arguement. oh well. i will get it figured out. i have until friday (well, thursday night.... or if i really want to stretch it - friday before 11:30).
after that i got lunch (which was ok - the fries were good). then i had to go to the aforementioned (oooo vocab point) meeting. that was boring. the second part of that meeting was a career thing. i went to the art one (obviously) and we talked a little about careers but also about what classes we should take when to fulfill requirements and such. that was helpful but kinda stressful because i don't like thinking that far into the future.
then.... i sat around, pretended to do homework...... then Ashley, Caitlin, Ellen, Mike, Eric, and I all went to PF Changs to celebrate my bday and Ashley's bday (last tues and wed respectively). that was so much fun. omfg i love that restaurant. sooooo yummy. i got beef and broccoli of course. leftovers are in the fridge for tomorrow's enjoyment. mmmm.
yep. then i came back and did homework. and now i am watching the cards game. yep yep yep.
song that is on now: Short Skirt and a Long Jacket - Cake.
mmmm good song. hehehe
ok... i gotta start watching the game more closely - its getting interesting - in a bad way.
tschuess.
14.10.05
Colors
so i just felt like changing the colors of my blog. :)
i am in a kinda blah mood today.
i dont know why - its friday. i only had one class - i got to sleep in! the fire alarm went off for a sec and 9 this morning, but it stopped so i got to roll over and go back to sleep. that was cool. class was eh as usual. i went to lunch at the caf with jesse and jacob. that was fun because we made fun of the class and joked around the whole time. fridays kinda depress me sometimes because even though its the weekend it takes so long for things to start happening... so i end up sitting around and thinking too much. i wanna go play outside or something.... but people are busy i think. maybe i will call up somebody or just go to someone else's room to see what they are up to. hmm.....
i hate blah mood days. they are better than depressed days cause those days arent fun at all, but blah is frustrating cause i feel like i should be in a good mood, but for some reason i can't get myself out of the funk.
blech.
on a lighter note - i have found a really good song for my alarm. hehe. i like it a lot. at the moment my alarm is.... (drumroll)..... Tubthumper by Chumbawumba. it is a very good song to wake up to. :)
the cards lost last night. that was not fun at all. i was quite upset. but last night was good cause mason, tim, and i ordered chinese food. it was so good. i have leftover seseame chicken. mmmmmm. for once i didnt get beef and broccoli - arent you guys proud? hmm...... i might have to dig into the leftovers later. and last night, after the game, i went over to gallagher (the student center) and watched Batman Begins. Its really cool cause about once a month for three days they have movies playing in gallagher that are out of theaters but not out on video yet. they played the longest yard in early september.
i dont know what i am going to do tonight- maybe go to the volleyball game, maybe the soccer game. i dunno. afterwards i am going to a midnight show of elizabethtown. that will be fun. i am excited for that movie.
bleh. bleh mood. bleh. i feel like i should have song lyrics up or some emo kind of thing like that, but i am too lazy to look through my library and find a song. so yeah..... just imagine some song in your head.
i know this has nothing to do with my mood - but the song just came on and i love this song. so here are some song lyrics for ya'll.
AIN'T TOO PROUD TO BEG
The Temptations
I know you wanna leave me,
But I refuse to let you go
If I have to beg and plead for your sympathy,
I don't mind coz' you mean that much to me
Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me, girl, don't you go
Now I heard a cryin' man,
Is half a man with no sense of pride
But if I have to cry to keep you,
I don't mind weepin' if it'll keep you by my side
Ain't to proud to beg, sweet darlin
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
If I have to sleep on your doorstep
All night and day just to keep you from walkin' away
Let your friends laugh, even this I can stand
Because I want to keep you any way I can
Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Now I've gotta love so deep in the pit of my heart
And each day it grows more and more
I'm not ashamed to come and plead to you baby
If pleadin' keeps you from walkin' out that door
Ain't too proud to beg, you know it sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Baby, baby, baby, baby (sweet darling)
<3<3<3 I love you all and i miss you all. :)
i am in a kinda blah mood today.
i dont know why - its friday. i only had one class - i got to sleep in! the fire alarm went off for a sec and 9 this morning, but it stopped so i got to roll over and go back to sleep. that was cool. class was eh as usual. i went to lunch at the caf with jesse and jacob. that was fun because we made fun of the class and joked around the whole time. fridays kinda depress me sometimes because even though its the weekend it takes so long for things to start happening... so i end up sitting around and thinking too much. i wanna go play outside or something.... but people are busy i think. maybe i will call up somebody or just go to someone else's room to see what they are up to. hmm.....
i hate blah mood days. they are better than depressed days cause those days arent fun at all, but blah is frustrating cause i feel like i should be in a good mood, but for some reason i can't get myself out of the funk.
blech.
on a lighter note - i have found a really good song for my alarm. hehe. i like it a lot. at the moment my alarm is.... (drumroll)..... Tubthumper by Chumbawumba. it is a very good song to wake up to. :)
the cards lost last night. that was not fun at all. i was quite upset. but last night was good cause mason, tim, and i ordered chinese food. it was so good. i have leftover seseame chicken. mmmmmm. for once i didnt get beef and broccoli - arent you guys proud? hmm...... i might have to dig into the leftovers later. and last night, after the game, i went over to gallagher (the student center) and watched Batman Begins. Its really cool cause about once a month for three days they have movies playing in gallagher that are out of theaters but not out on video yet. they played the longest yard in early september.
i dont know what i am going to do tonight- maybe go to the volleyball game, maybe the soccer game. i dunno. afterwards i am going to a midnight show of elizabethtown. that will be fun. i am excited for that movie.
bleh. bleh mood. bleh. i feel like i should have song lyrics up or some emo kind of thing like that, but i am too lazy to look through my library and find a song. so yeah..... just imagine some song in your head.
i know this has nothing to do with my mood - but the song just came on and i love this song. so here are some song lyrics for ya'll.
AIN'T TOO PROUD TO BEG
The Temptations
I know you wanna leave me,
But I refuse to let you go
If I have to beg and plead for your sympathy,
I don't mind coz' you mean that much to me
Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me, girl, don't you go
Now I heard a cryin' man,
Is half a man with no sense of pride
But if I have to cry to keep you,
I don't mind weepin' if it'll keep you by my side
Ain't to proud to beg, sweet darlin
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
If I have to sleep on your doorstep
All night and day just to keep you from walkin' away
Let your friends laugh, even this I can stand
Because I want to keep you any way I can
Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Now I've gotta love so deep in the pit of my heart
And each day it grows more and more
I'm not ashamed to come and plead to you baby
If pleadin' keeps you from walkin' out that door
Ain't too proud to beg, you know it sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Baby, baby, baby, baby (sweet darling)
<3<3<3 I love you all and i miss you all. :)
11.10.05
Bday
Ok so today was my birthday. It was pretty good. Classes were shitty though. But it was awesome cause after all my classes I get back and there are like 20 posts on my facebook saying happy birthday from old buddies, new buddies, and buddies. i felt so special. some people left me messages on instant messanger, amanda and margaret called me, i got a cake from mom and dad, my sister called me, when i would walk around campus people would stop me and say happy bday, the cafeteria ladies even said happy bday after they swiped my card (i guess it says something about date of birth or something...).... I felt so loved!! Thanks guys!! All of you are so amazing and i really needed all this. :):):):):):)
So after many birthday celebrations and such ashley and i decided to start our "hot boys" wall. We went through magazines and ripped out pics of guys and our goal is to cover one wall with em. i then decided to tear out pics that i thought were cool and i plastered them all over the wall over my bed. It looks so cool.
I havent got presents from parents and such yet. But Nick gave me my presents over fall break - a stuffed monkey, a necklace, and 8 roses. :):):):):) <3 <3
More gifts i got from friends are: Tim gave me an apple from the caf; Ashley, Tim, Ellen, Caitlin, and Christina made me a million signs and printed out lots of get fuzzy comics (now adorning my walls) wishing me happy bday. They came into my room at midnight and sang me happy bday and such. it was awesome.
ok so pics:
the wall the way it used to be (i moved my bed a while back too...)
the new wall! woo!!
So after many birthday celebrations and such ashley and i decided to start our "hot boys" wall. We went through magazines and ripped out pics of guys and our goal is to cover one wall with em. i then decided to tear out pics that i thought were cool and i plastered them all over the wall over my bed. It looks so cool.
I havent got presents from parents and such yet. But Nick gave me my presents over fall break - a stuffed monkey, a necklace, and 8 roses. :):):):):) <3 <3
More gifts i got from friends are: Tim gave me an apple from the caf; Ashley, Tim, Ellen, Caitlin, and Christina made me a million signs and printed out lots of get fuzzy comics (now adorning my walls) wishing me happy bday. They came into my room at midnight and sang me happy bday and such. it was awesome.
ok so pics:
the wall the way it used to be (i moved my bed a while back too...)
the new wall! woo!!
9.10.05
ugh... i hate this
i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this.
i didnt have any school thurs and fri so i went home on wed night. the drive home was hilarious. skip, neil, and tom were so funny. i seriously think it is the third best car trip of my life (spring break ones being at the top two slots). The following days were amazing. i basically hung out with Nick. It felt so good to see him again and to be back home again. The only problem - my parents were on vacation and therefore ate most of the food in the house before they left - there wasn't even bread!! So, besides the hunger, those were some of the best days of my life. Nick decided that friday was my "birthday" since he won't see me on my real bday (tuesday by the way...). He gave me 8 roses (for 8 months - thats on thursday), a stuffed monkey (named Mr. Monkey - name compliments of Nick), and a gorgeous necklace. We then went to see Waiting. It was pretty good - they did a good job of showing what hell it is to work in a restaurant but it needed more Dane Cook. Later that night Amanda called - She was in town!! So Amanda and her roommate Jess came over. We then headed over to Margaret's dorm where Spaeth, McCuddles, Hovis, JT, and some people i didn't know were hanging. George came later. It was so amazing to see all those people again and be able to drop my guard for the first time in a month and just relax. It felt good to be home. Not in the sense of being back in STL, but being around people that understand me and love me for who i am. Today I hung out with Nick. Then Julia and Paul came home and we went to Gravity (a guitar store) and Taco Bell (mmmmm). Then mom and dad got home. I love my family. that is all i have to say. We then all headed to Lagniappes for dinner. I finally got to have the tenderloin spedini that i had wanted to have for so many years. Dinner was amazing and I got cake - mmmm. After that Nick and I went to Ted Drewes to meet Amanda and Jess. After hanging out in Amanda's car for a while we went back to her house and watched the Dukes of Hazzard. It was good and pretty funny - a lot better than i had thought it was going to be. After that Nick and I headed back to my house. We said bye, and of course i cried.
i love coming home but i hate it because it taunts me. i wish so bad to be able to just stay here, but i love xavier so much and i would miss everyone there. i didn't think it would be this hard to say goodbye this time, but it was actually harder. harder because i know how hard it is. hard because i know that i wont be back for another 2 months - twice as long as the last time. harder because these have been some of the best days of my life. harder because .... i dont even know how to put all this in words.
i hate this. but there is no way i am giving up. no way in hell. it just hurts like a bitch.
i didnt have any school thurs and fri so i went home on wed night. the drive home was hilarious. skip, neil, and tom were so funny. i seriously think it is the third best car trip of my life (spring break ones being at the top two slots). The following days were amazing. i basically hung out with Nick. It felt so good to see him again and to be back home again. The only problem - my parents were on vacation and therefore ate most of the food in the house before they left - there wasn't even bread!! So, besides the hunger, those were some of the best days of my life. Nick decided that friday was my "birthday" since he won't see me on my real bday (tuesday by the way...). He gave me 8 roses (for 8 months - thats on thursday), a stuffed monkey (named Mr. Monkey - name compliments of Nick), and a gorgeous necklace. We then went to see Waiting. It was pretty good - they did a good job of showing what hell it is to work in a restaurant but it needed more Dane Cook. Later that night Amanda called - She was in town!! So Amanda and her roommate Jess came over. We then headed over to Margaret's dorm where Spaeth, McCuddles, Hovis, JT, and some people i didn't know were hanging. George came later. It was so amazing to see all those people again and be able to drop my guard for the first time in a month and just relax. It felt good to be home. Not in the sense of being back in STL, but being around people that understand me and love me for who i am. Today I hung out with Nick. Then Julia and Paul came home and we went to Gravity (a guitar store) and Taco Bell (mmmmm). Then mom and dad got home. I love my family. that is all i have to say. We then all headed to Lagniappes for dinner. I finally got to have the tenderloin spedini that i had wanted to have for so many years. Dinner was amazing and I got cake - mmmm. After that Nick and I went to Ted Drewes to meet Amanda and Jess. After hanging out in Amanda's car for a while we went back to her house and watched the Dukes of Hazzard. It was good and pretty funny - a lot better than i had thought it was going to be. After that Nick and I headed back to my house. We said bye, and of course i cried.
i love coming home but i hate it because it taunts me. i wish so bad to be able to just stay here, but i love xavier so much and i would miss everyone there. i didn't think it would be this hard to say goodbye this time, but it was actually harder. harder because i know how hard it is. hard because i know that i wont be back for another 2 months - twice as long as the last time. harder because these have been some of the best days of my life. harder because .... i dont even know how to put all this in words.
i hate this. but there is no way i am giving up. no way in hell. it just hurts like a bitch.
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