sigh

ok i have been thinking lots today. at some points kinda depressed and homesick and such, at other times kinda angry. basically i want to sum it up in two things.
1 - i have had a couple instances of this in the past 24 hours - i just want to say to all guys - if you are a dick to my friends, you are a dick to me. they mean the world to me. i will take it personally and, even if i am too far away, just know that if it was possible, i would come and beat you up. i love my friends more than anything. also if you expect me to give you sympathy or something, you aren't going to get it. i am not sympathetic person when it comes to people who have been mean to my friends. for all my friends - if you ever need to talk just give me a ring. i love to talk to you guys and i love you. you guys are all amazing. i will be happy to listen to you no matter your mood.
(ok that was the angry part)
2 - (this is the depressed/homesick part) i miss all you guys a lot. i have had two songs in my head for the past few days. one of them i just rediscovered and i finally have it on my computer.
first song: The Luckiest by Ben Folds

I don’t get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I’d been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there’s an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I’m sorry, I know that’s a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

Second Song: I Want to Know Your Plans by Say Anything

I want to know your plans
and how involved in them I am.
When I go to sleep for good,
Will I be forgiven?
And if you want roses
You can go buy a bouquet.
If that just won't cut it,
well what can I say?

You're what keeps me believing
The world's not gone dead.
Strength in my bones, put the words in my head
When they pour out to paper
It's all for you.
Cause that's what you do.
That’s what you do.

I want to know your fear
From your feet to the back of your ears
When they raise the landing gear
Will your heart stay here?
If you could forgive me
for being so brash,
well you, you could hit me or whip me.
Oh, oh, I'd savor each lash.

You're what keeps me believing
the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones,put the words in my head.
They pour out to paper
It's all for you...
Cause that's what you do

No more fighting
This is only a waste of our time,
Oh, cause soon we'll be leaving
Will this strength still be mine?

I'll look out for you ‘til I die
‘Til I rot
Ohh I'll remember you ‘til I die
‘Til I rot

You're what keeps me believin the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones, put the words in my head
When they pour out to paper
It's all for you...

You're what keeps me believin the world's not gone dead,
Strength in my bones, put the words in my head.
when they pour out to paper
It's all for you
Cause that's what you do.



ok that is all i have to say. i just felt like posting and that's what i have been thinking about for the past, oh, 24 hours or so.
<3<3<3<3
*blow a kiss*
that's for all you guys.