Grandpa

I found out yesterday that my Grandpa is really sick. He isn't eating. He is probably going to die soon. He has parkinsons diesease and has lived in a nursing home for a while now (i can't remember how many years). Its really sad going to visit him, because he rarely talks and he looks so sick. It is hard to tell if he recognizes us at all. Some days it seems like he knows what is going on and who is talking to him. It is just hard for me to see, because I have very little memory of him when he was well. He lives up in Buffalo, and so i only see him once or twice a year. He started getting sicker when i was rather little, and so i have very few good memories of a healthy grandpa. I remember sitting on his lap, or next to him, and wondering why his hands shook and jiggled. I remember him playing the piano at Thanksgiving mass, and when we would visit him at home. I remember playing the piano for him and seeing him be so proud of me. I miss that Grandpa. And its weird, because since that Grandpa has been gone for so long, it seems almost like he died then and the Grandpa I have now is a totally different person. I feel bad, because I feel like I should be more upset than I am about Grandpa dying.
Another weird thing I have been thinking about is that, when he dies, I will only have one Grandparent left. My Grandma Fortune died of cancer when I was one (Thanksgiving of 1987) and Grandpa Fortune died of colon cancer when I was 13 (Valentine's day of 2000). My Grandma Sturm is still alive and very well.
Death is so weird. I thought about this a lot a while ago as well becuase we were talking about Euthanasia in theology. Is is better to die with dignity early on in the illness, or suffer and live as long as possible and let God take your life? I was really torn, because I have seen the effects of terrible illnesses on both of my Grandpas and both of the familes as well. It causes so much suffering to watch them die so slowly, but does that make it ok to take their life? Some people hold out in hopes of a miracle, or some kind of cure.......
I dunno.
I just don't know.